The Ruins
by Nurse Betty Page
Summary: The Doctor travels to a distant planet to take part in an ancient alien sex ritual to cure his fear of closeness and intimacy, hoping to win Clara's love before Danny Pink gets there first. But then the Doctor falls for High Priestess Megdala - and knows her people are doomed due to a coming nuclear explosion - and then he must choose: Save her, or walk away and go home to Clara...
1. Chapter 1

**The Ruins**

**Summary:**

**The Doctor longs to get closer to Clara but struggles to break his habit of freezing up at her touch. He decides to free himself of this unwanted consequence of his new regeneration by travelling alone to the far away planet of Zolia, where he intends to take part in a ceremony held by the women of the Desert Solar Temple – the ritual is sexual and he feels certain this experience will cure him of his dread of being touched forever.**

**But the experience proves so intense and life changing, that the Doctor unexpectedly falls for Megdala, the High Priestess of the Solar Temple - whose people have been forced to live in the desert for many centuries by the town dwellers, who consider the remains of the sand gypsy tribe little more than savages.**

**But the Doctor knows very soon a terrible event will play out in the history of the planet – the now technologically advanced urban half of this world have discovered how to split the atom, and have chosen the desert as a testing site – not realising they are condemning the people of the tribe to a slow and painful death...**

**Knowing his warnings will be dismissed as nonsense, the Doctor knows there is nothing he can do to prevent the tragedy – but when he tells Megdala the truth, and offers an escape route to the woman who believes her life is forever bound to a temple she is forbidden to leave, she refuses to go, and the Doctor is faced with a choice :**

_**Does he stay to care for his dying lover, or return to Earth, where Clara is waiting for him?**_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Rated R<span> for - conversations of a sexual nature, scenes of a sexual nature, scenes of body piercing, tattooing and scenes of drug taking. Also deals with the subject of mortality.**

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer – I own nothing at all, I write for love of fan fiction.<strong>

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

The Tardis landed on cracked ground where a river had once flowed but had long since dried up. As the Doctor stepped out in his black suit he was not bothered by the heat of the day, because here on the planet of Zolia it was the middle of winter, making the desert land feel more like warm spring time on earth.

All around the ground was rocky, the earth was covered with sand blown on to the old weathered pathway close by, and here and there sprigs of greenery broke up the landscape.

Up ahead, an old camp site had long ago become a permanent home to the sand gypsies, the true people of this planet.

As he walked on he took in the sight of the dwellings crafted from large bricks cut from the planet's surface, there was a camp fire burning in the main square and children ran about playing while the adults stood around talking, or sat together in friendly, close groups.

This place was not as crowded as it would have been a century before. The gypsies of Zolia had long ago been driven from their land, denied the freedom to drift as they pleased, and now their population was dwindling.

He reflected it was probably a good thing, considering the so called _smarter_ side of the population in the urban zone had come up with the _clever_ idea of splitting the atom... Soon they would use land dangerously close to the settlement to test their A bombs, and then, what was left of the alien gypsy people would be gone.

_It wasn't a deliberate act._

It was more a consequence of stupidity on the part of the settlers who had come from a nearby planet, keen to spread out the human population through the stars.

The sand gypsies were not so different to their human neighbours, their eyes were bright green and they wore clothing of shimmering silk, but they were very humanoid.

_And the humans from earth were about to destroy them._

It was a disaster the Doctor knew he could not avoid.

The earth descended urban population thought they knew everything, and would _not_ listen to the warnings of one man, even if he was a two thousand year old Timelord...

_They would set off the bombs and the sand gypsies would die._

_They would call it a tragedy, and learn from it._

And that was perhaps the worst thing about it – humans...they always had to make huge, devastating mistakes costing lives, before lessons were _finally_ learned...

_Not that knowing that put him off a certain human who was back on earth in another time and place, teaching a class at Coal Hill School..._

His hearts briefly ached as he thought of Clara, and suddenly the distance between them seemed too far.

But that distance would always be too far, and they would never be close enough if he didn't fix a problem that had dogged him since his regeneration:

_He could not bear closeness, could not bear to be touched._

_He did not want to freeze every time Clara put her arms around him._

_He knew if he didn't resolve that issue, pretty soon she'd be off with Mr Pink the soldier boy, because although he was not a Timelord, he could handle tenderness, he could embrace her without freezing and pushing her away..._

_It had to stop._

He kept that thought in mind as he entered the settlement, some of the people around the camp fire glanced his way and he politely nodded to them and then continued on his way, through the main square and towards a pathway that led up to a temple built of the same sand-shaded bricks as the housing.

This was the solar temple of Zolia, probably the last temple of its kind now the population had shrunk so dramatically thanks to pressure to make the natives break with their tribe and settle in the urban area.

_"Who are you?"_

The Doctor stopped walking and turned around to see a young woman standing on the pathway. Her fair hair fell to her shoulders and her eyes were an unearthly shade of green.

"You can not go up there," she said to him, "That pathway, you know where it leads?"

"Yes, to the temple," the Doctor replied, and as he thought of what he was about to subject himself to when he got there, he began to break out in a light sweat and he unbuttoned his jacket.

"But tomorrow is the day of the darkening," she replied.

"Yes, the solar eclipse I know. That's what I'm here for."

And he turned away and began to walk along the path once more, uphill, and he was sweating again so this time he reached up and opened the collar of his shirt, opening three buttons.

"You can not visit the temple today!" the woman called back.

The Doctor turned again, this time abruptly as impatience blazed in his blue eyes.

"I can do what I like, I'm a Timelord!" he said sharply, "A Timelord with plans... that's all you need to know."

And then as she looked at him in surprise, he turned back and continued on the uphill path towards the temple entrance.

* * *

><p>As the Doctor reached the closed temple doorway, he hesitated as he felt a flutter of nervousness that went somewhere between butterflies and the urge to throw up.<p>

"_Just do it,"_ he muttered to himself, _"Do it and get it over with and go home to Clara.." _And then he drew in a slow breath, gathered up his courage and knocked on the wooden door.

_It was too late now, he had knocked._

That realisation, that there could be no backing out – settled the worst of his nervousness as he continued to perspire.

_"I don't want to do this,"_ he whispered as he waited, and then he silently reflected there was nothing else he could do, not if he wanted to rid himself of this glitch in his persona the new regeneration had left him with – a glitch that could cost him Clara, or any other woman who came along during the course of his long lifetime, if this was not resolved now...

_There was still no answer._

As the Doctor stood there looking at the door and waiting for it to open, it occurred to him that if he was quick, really quick, he could always turn around, run back down the hill and go back to the Tardis and -

No.

That would be silly...

_"You're a Timelord!"_ he said aloud, "Start acting like one..._Stop_ running away from this!"

And he knocked a second time.

Still there was no answer.

He gave a sigh, resisted the urge to look back down the pathway at a last glimpse of freedom –_ freedom?_ Where did _that _come from?

_Why _was he so desperate to escape back to the Tardis, leave this world and forget he ever came here?

Most men – including many of his other former lifetimes – would have relished the chance to be here, doing this...

His Fifth persona would have loved it. So would his Ninth and definitely his Tenth. And Eleven would have asked to stay on for a few more days to go through it all again, he would have thought of it as great fun...

"But not me," the Doctor sad, and then he laughed as he thought how absurd he sounded:

_What was he so afraid of?_

_He was about to volunteer to be stripped and massaged and oiled down by three beautiful women who would prepare him for the ceremony, which basically involved sex with the High Priestess._

_Maybe all his other selves would have enjoyed it._

_But not him, not now._

_Too much touching..._

_And that was what he had to get over, that fear of being touched. If this didn't cure him, nothing would._

_He thought of Clara._

_The Doctor imagined leaving this place and wrapping his arms around her and seeing the look in her eyes when she realised, he had touched her first, he had pulled her close, and he was not letting go, not telling her No hugging..._

Suddenly he felt stronger, and that was fortunate, because at that moment, the door opened.

* * *

><p>"Who are you?" said the woman who stood in the doorway as she looked at him in surprise.<p>

Clearly, these people were not used to outsiders coming to call. And the Doctor smiled nervously as he looked at the young woman in the flowing lilac gown, it hugged her curves in all the right places and the neckline plunged deeply. Her long chestnut hair fell to her shoulders, and was almost the same shade as Clara's.

_Now this felt easier._

_He could shut his eyes and imagine she was Clara..._

Then the Doctor made a silent wish:

_Please, be the High Priestess. I can do you, I can think of her and screw your brains out, especially during the eclipse when it all goes dark, in that moment I won't have to think about reality..._

"I'm here for the ceremony," he said to her, "I am a traveller, I've come a long way through the stars to be here. I want to join the Priestess for the Darkening and the Coming of the Light."

The woman looked at him suspiciously.

"I'm genuinely here to participate!" he said, and hoped he didn't sound too desperate as his nerves got the better of him and he stood in front of her visibly perspiring, "I'm not some pervert here for a thrill – I'm a Timelord, my name is the Doctor. I need help, and I think the ceremony can help me. _Please_ tell me you're the Priestess!"

The woman looked at him thoughtfully, taking in the sight of the older, distinguished man who looked rather handsome, yet nervous as he met her gaze, and then she smiled.

"I think she may be interested," she replied, "There is not much faith left in our community any more, and an outsider who has come so far may well be allowed to participate – come inside, I will take you to the Priestess."

As she stepped back to let him in, he hoped she didn't see a brief flash of panic in his eyes. He followed her in and his mouth went dry and he knew he was still sweating...

* * *

><p>She lead him through a white walled hallway and out to a garden, where here the ground was well watered and cared for and shrubbery and trees flourished.<p>

She gestured to a bench beside a place where water ran over rocks and the sound was gentle and soothing.

"Wait here," she said to him, "The Priestess will see you shortly."

The Doctor sat down, shot her a nervous glance and said nothing in reply.

Tension was building again and he shifted in his seat, glanced down at the running water and then to the lawn in front of him as he thought about this decision to come here in the first place, and again he wondered if there was any way he could back out...

_He wanted to back out._

_But he also knew if he did, his problem would never be resolved._

_This was about facing his fears..._

Then, as he sat there waiting, a thought hit him.

It was a thought that made him give a groan.

"_Oh no!" _he exclaimed, wishing he could unthink it, but it was too late because it was there in his head:

_What if she was ugly?_

Not just plain or standard non attractive, but _hideously_ ugly...

He drew in a breath and let it out slowly, forcing himself to be calm.

"_Stop it!" _he muttered under his breath, _"Just get on with it, get it over with – and she's not ugly!"_

Then he thought beyond the Priestess:

_There was pain associated with this ceremony. _

_Did he really want to get a tattoo etched into his flesh using an ancient method involving a hot blade and home made inks?_

_Did he really want to get a piercing in his right nipple?_

_Did h__e even know if he had__ a fear of needles in this regeneration?_

_And why, oh why was the thought of all this causing him even the vaguest sensations of arousal?_

The Doctor straightened up in his seat, drew in another breath, brushed a trickle of sweat from his face and looked nervously about the garden, hoping to spot a gate, his only hope - a back way out of here.

But there wasn't one...

* * *

><p><em>"Doctor?"<em>

Her voice was soft.

The Doctor had been looking to the back of the garden, and he turned his head sharply to see a woman standing over him. She was tall and shapely and wore a black dress that clung to her curves. Her bright green eyes shimmered, her dark hair tumbled past her shoulders and she was, thank the stars, _beautiful._..

He stood up, and while his nerves still jangled awkwardly, he felt a little more confident now.

"Yes, I'm the Doctor," he replied, "Are you -"

"I am Megdala, the High Priestess," she replied, "And I understand you have an interest in the ceremony tomorrow. Exactly _how_ interested are you?"

As he looked into her green eyes his twin hearts pounded out of nervousness, fear and something else that made him sweat all over again – this time, it was out of excitement, the kind of excitement an adrenaline junkie might feel on boarding the world's highest and fastest roller coaster...

Suddenly his fears were taking a back seat, at least for now. His composure was quickly regained as he met her gaze.

"I'm more than interested," he replied, "I travelled through time and space to be here for the ceremony."

"In what capacity do you wish to join the ceremony?" she asked.

He didn't hesitate to give his reply.

_"An active one," _he replied, _"I'm here to be the sacrifice_, _Megdala."_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

As the Doctor looked into her bright green eyes, the Priestess smiled.

"Please, " she said, "Sit, we need to talk first."

The Doctor sat back down, and she sat beside him.

As their eyes met again he suddenly felt awkward, unsure of how to proceed now he had offered himself for the ceremony.

"And I do know what to expect," he added, and then he felt even more uncomfortable, because he knew just how nervous he had sounded.

She looked at him thoughtfully.

"You are a lord of time? Sounds very noble. I am sure you are educated in the ritual process of my people – many are, but few would volunteer for the rites associated with it. I must ask you, Doctor – _why_ do you wish to do this? You seem to be a worldly gentleman of some measure of experience and knowledge, I see it in your eyes. And you are certainly not a young, innocent youth. What is your reason for making the offering?"

He hesitated, and as she closed her hand over his, her touch was gentle and suddenly it was that little bit easier to open up and speak his mind.

"I'm in love with someone," he said quietly, "She is human, much younger than me, very beautiful...and I have a rival -"

As she let go of his hand, Megdala laughed softly.

"I struggle to understand how one as wise and powerful as you could feel threatened by a rival."

The Doctor paused for thought before speaking.

"I have regenerated," he said, "My species can renew their life by taking on a new body, new face – new everything. And this time around, I've found there is a problem."

Megdala looked into his eyes kindly.

"Doctor, if there is a problem," she paused to glance below his belt,"Perhaps you would be better off seeking medical help to solve it. And if you cannot perform you cannot participate in the ceremony."

The Doctor's eyes widened in surprise, and then he laughed as he recalled all the awkward moments in the Tardis, being around Clara, close to Clara, yet _not_ close enough to her to let her know just how hard she made him...

"Oh no, that's not what I meant! That is definitely _not_ a problem, everything _works,_ Megdala!"

His laugh had been nervous and his face flushed as he looked at her.

"So what is wrong, Doctor?" she asked him.

"I can't get close to her. I can't get close to anyone, I just freeze up when I'm touched, I get taken over by this instinct to push away anyone who gets physically close. _Even her_."

"The woman you love?"

He nodded.

"And I know this can't go on. She will find what she seeks in the arms of another if I don't over come this difficulty. And I think the ceremony here at the temple will be perfect to cure my fears once and for all."

She looked at him thoughtfully.

"Doctor, I doubt you would be able to participate in the ceremony in such an anxious state of mind."

He stared at her.

"I'm not anxious, I'm just -"

"Afraid?" she said gently.

He gave a sigh.

"I wish I could hide it, but I can't."

"You can take something for that," she told him, "Are you aware we use powder derived from the silver Bellflower?"

He raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"The nocturnal flowering plant that makes moon dust – yes, I've heard of it. A mental relaxant and a physical stimulant, banned in six of the twelve galaxies and only legal in the others because they have yet to discover it. That stuff is highly addictive."

"And when used in ceremonies highly effective – you would have to use it daily for a long period of time to become addicted, Doctor."

"And throughout the ages your people have been known to have high rates of addiction amongst the population."

"It is freely available here and we have always made use of it. The substance is part of our ancient culture."

"No wonder you have so many sex rituals going on a round here!"

"I would recommend you take it," she told him, "All your inhibitions will fall away and can only help you to relax and make the experience more pleasurable."

The Doctor paused for thought again.

"Okay," he said, "I'll take it. You're probably right, I won't be able to go through it without some help."

"It is not there to help," Megdala said, "It is there to free that which already desires freedom."

He smiled as he met her gaze.

"I could certainly do with some help to free my desires," he admitted.

She shifted closer. He was tense, as soon as she moved closer every muscle in his body had frozen, and he knew it showed.

"I'm sorry." He drew in a breath and let it out slowly.

"Let me show you to your room," she said to him, "I think once you are comfortable it will be time to introduce you to some small exercises to help you to relax."

As they got up from the seat together she saw a flicker of fear in his eyes and she laughed softly.

"There is nothing to be afraid of, Doctor. I will attend, if that makes you feel more comfortable."

"It might," he replied, and she led him back through the garden and into the corridors of the temple.

* * *

><p>As they walked through the corridors heading for the residential area at the back of the building the Doctor was talking, too fast and too much, to try and kill his nerves.<p>

"I don't suppose this ceremony is too kinky? I mean, I'm not closed minded about these things it's just that I'd like to know in advance of anything -"

She looked at him.

"_Kinky..."_ he said, and then he fell silent and they stopped walking and she looked at him kindly again.

"You have nothing to fear," she reminded him, "And the ceremony is not until tomorrow. Today is a day to relax and enjoy the attentions you will receive."

"Sounds like a lot of touching!" he replied nervously, and she said nothing in reply as she opened the door to a white room where soft carpet covered the floor and a soft, wide bed looked very inviting...to sleep in...

The wide patio doors were open, leading outside to the gardens, and sunlight streamed in through sheer net that shifted on a gentle breeze. The bedroom furniture was mirrored, wardrobes lining one wall, and above the bed the light fitting was covered with delicate crystal droplets that shimmered as the muted sunlight caught them.

"This is your room," she told him, "Please, sit down and wait, I will be back soon, I shall be bringing two of my assistants with me."

The Doctor sat down heavily on the bed, shooting her a look of pure dread.

"Fine," he replied, and he sounded anything but fine...

Then Megdala left the room, and he breathed a heavy sigh as he felt his anxieties rising up once more.

* * *

><p>While he was alone in the bedroom the Doctor got up and took off his jacket and waistcoat and folded them over a chair by the window. Then he kicked off his shoes, paused to open up the rest of the buttons on his shirt, and then as he stood before the mirror he swept it open, casting a glance at his exposed upper body, and decided he was in good shape, certainly enough to be attractive to the Priestess when the time came...<p>

His gaze briefly shifted to the sight of his nipples reflected and he wondered how much the piercing would hurt. He wasn't sure how nervous he was about the tattooing just yet. But the piercing, that _had _to hurt...

The Doctor looked into his own eyes and saw nervousness in his gaze, then he turned from the mirror and sat down on the edge of the bed.

It was difficult to handle this feeling of fear mixed with a vague sense of arousal as he thought of what was to come.

Then he guessed it wouldn't be as bad as he imagined – nothing ever was, nothing ever turned out to be as frightening as the imagination painted it – or did it, sometimes?

_His mouth was dry again._

He kept his gaze on the open doorway, waiting for company and wondering what would happen to him when company turned up...

* * *

><p>After a short wait, the Priestess returned, bringing with her two women – one was the girl who had answered the door to him, the other was shorter with fair hair. Both were beautiful and their silken garments moved with the curve of their hips and they smelled of sweet perfume that lingered in the air in an exotic way. As the girls stood over him and one reached for his shirt to remove it, he tensed up and pushed her hand away.<p>

"No!" he said, "Don't...Sorry, I'm struggling..."

"Would you leave us, please?" Megdala asked the women, and they turned away and left the room without a single word.

The Doctor found it hard to meet her gaze.

"I'm sorry, Megdala. I'm not sure I can do this. Maybe coming here was a waste of my time and yours."

"Here," she said, and handed him a small silver tray.

As he took it from her he glanced at her, then down at the gleaming silver powder that had been chopped into a fine line.

"Oh Megdala, I'm not sure about this...I'm _really_ not sure I should be taking this stuff!"

"It is not a large quantity," she reminded him, "And it will not harm you, Doctor."

He looked down at the tray once more, and imagined the look of horror on Clara's face if she had been here to see him taking an alien drug...

_But wasn't the whole point of this to be able to get closer to her?_

_This was all for Clara..._

_He was decided now._

The Doctor leaned over the tray, covered one nostril with his finger,closed his eyes and quickly snorted the powder.

Then he sat back, gasping as a rush hit his mind and began to spread through his body. He could feel his blood pumping through his veins, along with his physical energy levels rising. It felt good. And best of all, his mind was relaxing now – all the pain of the fear and anxiety had slipped away, it was not completely wiped out, but enough to kill the worst of his fears.

As his vision blurred he blinked and it cleared, and he handed the tray back to the Priestess.

"Better?" she asked him.

The Doctor smiled as his pupils shrunk to pinpricks.

"Much," he said, and now he knew he sounded more like the Doctor than some frightened, nervous soul who wanted to run out of the door.

"Let me help you take that shirt off," she said to him, and as she reached for him, he felt a ripple of tension pass through his body, but had no urge to resist her. As she slid off his shirt and paused to place it on the chair where he had draped his jacket, he unbuckled his belt and tugged down his zip and he noticed his hands were shaking slightly, but nowhere near as much as they had been before. As the Doctor continued to strip he spoke up, and no trace of nervousness sounded in his voice now:

"How long does the effect of this stuff last?"

"Long enough," she replied, and then as she turned back to him and saw he was stretched out naked on top of the bed she smiled.

"Well that certainly helped!" she remarked, "I see you are feeling more willing now, Doctor?"

"I do believe I am," he replied, and he glanced downwards quickly, then met her gaze again, hinting for her to notice his erection.

"I'm more than ready for this!" he exclaimed, "I could do the ceremony now!"

"That is not until tomorrow," she reminded him, and then she walked out of the room.

* * *

><p>As he lay there alone on the bed, he slid his hand between his legs, brushing against his growing erection as he closed his eyes and ached from the urge to release his sexual tension immediately.<p>

_And then he got an idea_.

The Doctor's eyes snapped open, bright blue with pinprick pupils as his body tingled with desire.

"_Clara!" _he exclaimed, and he got off the bed, went over to his jacket and took his phone from the pocket.

Moments later he was on his back on the bed, waiting for her to answer his call.

"Come on!" he said impatiently, and he stroked his hardness and then stopped, determined to make this feeling last...

"Doctor?" she said as she answered, "Where are you?"

The sheets felt soft and cool beneath his naked body and he was aching again at the sound of her voice. His hand settled between his legs, comfortably, not enough to further arouse him, but enough to appreciate being hard.

"Doctor?" she said again, "What's wrong? Say something!"

"I just thought I'd call you," he said, "I'm not up to much...just...laying around, taking it easy. I was thinking of you...you do know I do that a lot, right?"

"I didn't know that, but I'm glad you do. I think about you too. _Often_."

He breathed out heavily and fondled himself a little more.

"Are you okay?" she asked again, "You sound a bit different."

He laughed softy.

"I'm just fine, Clara. Keep talking, I miss you."

There was a brief silence.

"I miss you too," she said softly, "More than you know."

"And we should definitely talk about what that could mean when I come back."

"I think we should."

She sounded pleased to know she was on his mind so intensely. And then she realised something.

"When you come back from_ where_? What's going on, where are you, Doctor?"

He was aching for her. She was too far away and all he had was the sound of her voice as he stroked his erection.

"I am far too far away, Clara," he replied, "And when I see you again, you'll be surprised. I've got something for you."

"What is it?"

"_Me."_

Clara fell silent. For an awful, panicked moment he wondered if he had said too much and read her wrong, but then she spoke again.

"I wish you'd be like this more often," she said to him, "I can't wait to see you again, I want to be with you, Doctor...you know, _with_ you. _I always have_."

"Keep talking like that, don't ask me to explain just keep talking, Clara, please!"

Then as Megdala returned to the room with the woman who had answered the door, the Doctor gave a sigh.

"I have to go...I have something to do -"

"What kind of something? Good or bad? It's not a thing, is it? I'd rather be with you if -"

"No, everything is fine...I have to go. Speak soon."

* * *

><p>The Doctor ended the call and placed the phone on the table next to the bed, then looked apologetically at the Priestess.<p>

"I felt so good, I had to hear her voice."

"I'm sure you did," she replied, and she reached down and grasped his hand, taking it off his erection.

"You need to calm down a little bit, Doctor."

"_I can't."_

"And perhaps the change in you is a positive one," she replied, and she glanced to the servant girl, who set down a bowl of warm water next to the bed along with scented oils and some incense set in a burner that she lit, and then the room filled with a seductive fragrance.

"Do I have to hold back until tomorrow?" he asked, giving a sigh as the woman began to gently bathe his upper body.

"No," Megdala replied, "But you are not permitted to orgasm in front of my altar women. I will return when you have been cleansed and oiled."

The Doctor laughed softly as he relaxed and closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation of the woman's hands gliding over his body.

"I thought I couldn't do this, I was wrong..." he murmured, and as the thought struck him that he was finally able to enjoy being touched, he felt a sense of achievement. He was getting there, and he was sure it wasn't entirely the fault of the drug he had just taken...

He kept his eyes closed, thinking of Clara, and as he thought of her he imagined her hands sliding over his body, and he wanted that so much he ached for it – and most importantly of all, he was also aching to hold her in his arms, to crush her close to him and murmur words of love as he held her..

_This was working, he was sure of it._

_Perhaps this would not be a wasted trip after all..._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

As he lay back enjoying the attentions of the woman who massaged exotic oils into his body, the Doctor closed his eyes and thought of Clara.

Then as his erection grew unbearably painful with the need for release, he forced those thoughts to slide to the back of his mind because he was close, _very_ close to the edge, and he wanted to respect the laws of the temple as much as he wanted to be selfish and give in to his own needs.

But he couldn't be selfish even though he wanted to be, needed to be and ached like crazy to orgasm and feel the relief from it. The Priestess had said this was not permitted in front of her servants, so he held back, instead thinking about the fate of this planet:

I_t would be after the eclipse._

_The A bomb would go up and they would see it from the settlement, a far-off mushroom cloud rising into the air, and not realise what an omen of death it truly was._

The people who would set off the bomb didn't know they were killing the sand gypsies, they had not brought with them the knowledge and understanding that their forefathers had shared when it came to science and weapons development, these people were a splinter group of settlers determined to do things their way, and they would certainly learn from the consequences...

They would all die, out here in the desert, all the people from the settlement, this beautiful young woman who was rubbing oil into his body and even the Priestess. _Megdala would die too..._

He felt a wave of sadness as he thought of how he had come here to use their ceremony – their last ever ceremony – before the bomb hit, just to cure his problem, it seemed selfish knowing their problem was much bigger and _far_ worse...

He had a glitch in his personality that made closeness difficult.

Maybe he could have got around that before now, with earth drugs to break the ice.

Clara would not have liked him taking cocaine and would certainly have had a thing or two to say about it, but perhaps that would have had the same effect as the silver dust – although earth drugs were more addictive and far more dangerous than the substance he had just taken...

There were _lots_ of ways he could have got around his problem.

He could have talked to her about it, taken his time, and it might have taken a long time but they would have got there in the end.

_Now he was feeling guilty._

_Should he really be here, taking part in this ritual, knowing the day after, the bomb would go off and these people would be wiped out?_

_Those who were not wiped out would die slow, lingering deaths. Perhaps Megdala would be one of them..._

A wave of sadness washed over him and he kept his eyes closed as the woman slid her hands up his thighs being careful not to allow her touch to become too intimate.

He knew he was regretting it now, regretting not coming here and simply being the Doctor and doing what the Doctor did best – saving planets and people.

But this time, he knew they could not be saved. He would not be listened to. And it had just dawned on him that he had come here wrapped up in his own fears for his own future, when perhaps he should have been thinking about theirs instead...

_He blamed it on love for making him selfish._

_But still he knew there was nothing he could do to change the course of destiny. _

And that drug he had just taken was potent.

It was making his head swim, his body ache with desire and all his inhibitions fall away – dangerous for one who usually kept too much inside and held back so rigidly...

As the woman who had massaged him turned away and left the room, he opened his eyes and blinked away tears, and then he wondered why he felt like crying:

_Because he knew these people would soon be gone, destroyed by this planet's first A bomb?_

_Or was it because he missed Clara so much that his hearts felt as if they were breaking, and all he wanted was for her to walk through the door, instead of a stranger?_

* * *

><p>As the Priestess returned, the Doctor took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, forcing himself to seize hold of some kind of composure, at least to control his emotions – he knew he could not control his physical reactions, that woman and her massage had driven him crazy and now he was aching for nothing more than release, preferably as quickly as possible...<p>

She stood over him, her green eyes shifting over his naked flesh in a way that made him want to beg – and he would have, had he not been such a proud man, he would have begged, because he was desperate for the ache to subside.

"Are you ready, Doctor?" she said softly.

"Yes!" he said impatiently, and she walked over to a doorway that led into a bathroom, went inside and came out with a soft, folded hand towel, and then she she sat beside him, needing no words of encouragement as the Doctor willingly spread his legs as she placed the towel down there, holding it in place as her other hand closed around his erection.

He gave a gasp as she started to stimulate him. Her movement was firm and quick, there was no tenderness in her touch, but her words were gentle as she spoke softly to him once more:

"Is that better?"

"Yes, don't stop...please don't stop!"

"Close your eyes, Doctor, just enjoy it. Think about her and let yourself go. Let go of everything that is holding you back."

Her touch was a sweet agony that kept him on the edge, making him breathless as waves of pleasure ran through his body.

"Say her name," she whispered, "Say her name and give in to your own needs."

Her hand was still working on him and he as he drew in a sharp breath he knew he was almost there.

"_Clara..."_ he whispered, and as a thousand erotic imaginings of the woman he loved flickered through his mind all control was lost and he couldn't fight it and didn't want to fight it as he came hot and fast, with a mix of bliss and pain and sweet relief that made him cry out as she gently caressed him until the throbbing had ceased.

As he lay breathless on the bed he looked down, watching as Megdala used the towel to clean him up.

"Thank you so much," he said to her, and as she met his gaze she smiled, and so did he, but as she turned away from him to take away the towel he thought of Clara again, and the distance between them - and then he thought of the mushroom cloud that would wipe out the Priestess and her people, and as she come back into the bedroom, a look of concern came to her eyes as she saw the Doctor was weeping.

She sat beside him and he gave another sob and embraced her, clinging tightly to her as he buried his face against her shoulder and wept.

She said nothing as he sobbed, she just there stroking his hair and holding him gently as he clung to her.

Then when the Doctor had finally stopped weeping, he pulled back from her and met her gaze with reddened eyes as tears still shone on his cheeks.

"Sorry," he said, "I'm not sure why I needed to do that. Relief, I suppose. How selfish of me."

There was a brief look of confusion in her gaze.

"Selfish? No Doctor, you needed to release those emotions! And you held me. You clung to me, you chose to do that. I see your difficulties are leaving you already. Perhaps when you go home you will be ready to embrace your Clara."

"Yes, I hope so," he said quietly, and he decided to hold back on all he knew of the future, and the fact that she did not have one...

"I shall leave you now," she told him, "Evening is coming, and tomorrow is the day of the eclipse. You must rest."

She smiled, looking into his eyes with a promise that he would indeed need his rest for the love making that would come in the morning – but the Doctor's expression remained sorrowful.

"Do you always sleep alone?" he asked her.

"Yes," she replied, "Why?"

The Doctor shifted over on the bed and held his hand out to her.

"Don't," he said softly, "Not tonight. Stay with me, let me hold you. I want to hold you, I think I need to do that."

She said nothing in reply and simply climbed on to the bed beside him and allowed him to drape his arm around her, and then she shifted closer, and the Doctor pressed his lips into her hair, planting a kiss there.

"No one should sleep alone," he said quietly, "Not on a night like this."

And Megdala closed her eyes, sliding easily into a restful sleep, while the Doctor lay wake as shadows gathered and night beckoned.

It had already occurred to him that his fear of closeness was leaving him, thanks to the drug and to the attentions of the Priestess and her servant, but while he knew he ought to be happy about that, he also knew his happiness was marred by all he knew about the future:

_One day from now, Megdala and her people would all be gone._

That was why he was going to sleep on thoughts of Clara Oswald, but embracing the alien Priestess, because soon, Megdala would die – and no one should have to sleep alone when death was drawing near...

* * *

><p>The Doctor woke up to a bright morning, and the sound of water running in the bathroom. As he sat up he felt sure the drug was still active in his system:<p>

He still felt at ease, still felt relaxed, and definitely felt vague sensations of arousal that literally threatened to rise up at the slightest provocation...

Megdala came out of the bathroom and smiled at the sight of him standing next to the bed, naked and with a look of desire in his eyes.

"Take your time," she told him, "You may bathe and change into the robe I left in the bathroom – I will come to fetch you when it is time to prepare you for the ceremony."

"Do you have any coffee?" he asked her, "And I could do with breakfast -"

"You can not eat before the ceremony," she told him, "The preparation is painful and may cause nausea."

"Ah yes, I'd forgotten – I have to be etched with the sign of the solar god - inked with a hot blade. I'm expecting that to hurt. And please don't tell me about the piercing process, I'm keeping my eyes shut for that part."

As he joined her in the bathroom doorway he was suddenly aware of their closeness, and as he looked into her green eyes he felt an overwhelming urge to throw her to the floor and satisfy his needs roughly, impatiently – but that had to wait, he had to wait for the ceremony before he would know how it felt to be deep inside her.

"I'm looking forward to this," he said in a low voice, and he reached up and ran his fingers through her hair, and then he turned away and went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

Megdala felt a shiver run through her body as she thought of all they would share in the ceremonial room, and then she walked away and left the Doctor to bathe and get ready for the ritual.

* * *

><p>It was another hour before Megdala returned.<p>

When she came back into the room she was wearing a sheer white gown, it was transparent and the Doctor was glad his own robe was made of black silk, because it was easy for him to hide the fact that looking at her body through the fabric had given him a sharp and aching erection.

"I will take you to the temple now," she said to him, "There is a chamber at the back, where the sun will shine down through the roof and on to the ceremonial bed – you do know that we do not join together until the darkening happens?"

The Doctor's gaze was fixed on the view of her firm breasts and slender waist, and the way a short triangle of dark hair covered her sex. He could see it all through her gown and it only added to his hunger to take her, and do so roughly...

"Doctor?"

"Sorry, I couldn't help looking."

He shifted his gaze back to her face and she laughed softly.

"Well, I've see yours, its only right you should see mine!"

The Doctor smiled.

"But I haven't helped myself to yours yet, have I?"

"You will," she promised him, and she took him by the hand and led him from the bedroom, as his twin hearts pounded and his body ached for satisfaction, and he wondered how he ever could have been so nervous that running away had once been a serious option...

* * *

><p>When they entered the temple, the vast room was lit by hundreds of glowing candles. The Doctor kept a tight grip on her hand, letting her lead him towards a closed door at the back of the room.<p>

All his apprehension had left him now, he knew there was some pain to come before the pleasure, but the desire he felt to possess her body was overwhelming, it was as if all his old fears of closeness had melted away.

"How many days does the drug stay in my system?" he asked her, "Because its still working."

She gave no answer as she paused to unlock the door, and then she pushed it open and led him inside.

"How long?" he asked again.

She still gave no answer as she paused to light more candles, and then she turned back to him and beckoned to him to follow her over to a dim corner where there was a padded reclining chair.

The Doctor spotted the equipment beside it and took in a slow breath.

"Do your worst," he murmured, and then he untied his robe and let it fall open and sat back in the chair, looking upwards to a circular hole in the tall roof where sunlight poured through on to layers of soft blankets placed below, all embroidered with the spikes and swirls of the insignia of the sun god.

And then as she passed a thin tool with a sharpened blade through a candle flame, his body tensed – and it was nothing to do with how close she was to him – that blade was glowing with heat.

He looked up at the hole in the roof again.

She placed the tip of the blade into ink, and it hissed on contact.

The Doctor kept his gaze fixed on that hole in the roof.

She lowered the blade to his flesh, the tip of it bit into the centre of his chest and ink burned deeply and he gave a gasp, then closed his eyes as he took slow, deep breaths, as she traced a symbol into his skin and the blade burned ink into flesh. It hurt, but he could take it, breathing through the pain as beads of perspiration began to form on his brow.

"What do you when it rains?" he said, and caught his breath as she drew back the blade, pausing to heat it a second time.

"Rains?"

"The hole in the roof -" he tensed, gasping as the newly soaked blade sunk back into his flesh with scorching heat.

"We cover it up," she replied.

"Of course...otherwise this place would flood..."

He was still breathing through the pain.

"We don't get that much rain out here," she reminded him.

"I know. I'm trying -" he gave a gasp, "To take my mind off the pain..."

"It is done," she said, and as she set down the blade and briefly held a damp cloth to his chest to soak off excess blood and ink, he breathed a sigh of relief – the tattoo was still burning and making his flesh throb, but at least he knew she had finished the job now.

As she took the cloth away from his chest she placed it on the table, and then reached for a long, thick needle.

"Do I have to go through with the piercing?"

He looked at her and she saw fear in his eyes.

"The mark of the sun god is compulsory but the piercing is not," she told him, "You can refuse that rite if you wish."

The Doctor thought about it.

Then he concluded it was either the drug that was to blame, or simply that this was probably the_ only_ time in his life that he would ever be in a situation like this – and perhaps a body piercing would give him a bit of an edge, and give Clara something of a thrill when she found out about it...

"_Do it,"_ he said quickly, _"Before I change my mind."_

And then as she began to heat the needle, as it grew hot and glowing held over the flame, he drew in a slow breath and closed his eyes, guessing if this was the most painful experience he ever had, it was his own fault, because he had literally asked for it...


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_There was no backing out from this._

The needle was hot and as she pinched and toyed with his right nipple, a thought ran through his mind that he ought to find it arousing – but he couldn't, because he was waiting for the pain to hit.

"I am _not_ looking forward to this!" he said, looking down as she brought the needle closer, and then as he felt heat against his flesh, he looked away, closing his eyes as he braced himself for what was to come.

The pain was sharp and deep and cut through his body just as harshly as he had expected it to – and then it lingered.

He had lost the ability to cry out as sudden, intense agony blurred his mind and knocked the breath from his body, and then as he found his breath once more he did so slowly, breathing through the pain as she slid something cold and hard through the puncture wound.

Then as she cleaned the wound the pain seemed to taper off to the point of numbness and he guessed it would hurt later, but now the worst was over. As he looked down at the silver ring she had passed through his nipple, engraved with ancient tribal markings, he felt a sense of elation that he had actually gone through with this – and he made a mental note to try and hang on to that elation, because it would hopefully serve as a painkiller if the adrenaline kept flowing like it was at that moment...

"Almost everything was not as painful as I expected it to be," he said to her, "Apart from what you just did, which was agony."

Megdala stepped back and held out her hand.

"So let the pain be replaced by the pleasure you have earned. Come to me, Doctor. It is almost time."

He got up and took her hand and she led him over to the soft blankets on the floor. Then she let go of his hand and slipped off her sheer gown. As he looked at the naked Priestess his thoughts briefly strayed far away to earth and Clara, but there was no doubt in his mind now:

_It was almost the time of darkening. _

_And now he wanted to be here, to be joining with this woman as the eclipse plunged day into night..._

Now they stood in sunlight together as the light filtered in from the circular opening in the temple roof.

The Doctor looked up, watching as light continued to bathe them in its glow, and then as he looked into the eyes of the Priestess he untied his robe and as it fell to the stone floor her gaze wandered over his body and he ached unbearably with the need to bury himself deep inside her and satisfy his lust.

He stepped closer and reached for her, and she too had clearly been yearning for his touch, because as he pulled her closer she fell into his arms, welcoming his mouth on hers as he kissed her deeply.

As he pulled her down to the floor and on to the blankets, she fell back and landed softly, and as the light began to fade he sank to his knees in front of her, taking in the sight of her breasts and open legs and the inviting wetness of her sex as she looked up at him with longing burning in her eyes.

The Doctor took her in his arms, kissing her again, then then he broke away from the warmth of her mouth to explore the rest of her body. Every gasp and moan she made as he sucked on her nipples and kissed down her body made his erection ache as he thought of the sweet release that soon awaited. Then he placed his hands on her thighs and pushed them even further apart and held them there, feeling highly aroused as she made a whimper of discomfort at the force he had used, yet she said nothing in protest, only gave a cry of pleasure as he buried his face between her thighs and tasted her wetness for the first time.

_He wasn't gentle._

He was heavy handed, bruising her thighs as he held her legs open, he was lapping at her body like he wanted to devour her, not just her sex but the whole of her, but starting with her sex.

And she was giving weak, low whimpers as she tried to hold back from orgasm.

He knew she could not orgasm until the light returned, and he wanted to make it difficult for her, because she obviously knew how to control her ability to climax and he intended to make the most of that and push her to the very limit of all she could take...

And then as the last of the colour drained from the fading light, the world turned monochrome, and then it faded out to black.

Megdala gave a gasp as he drew back from her wetness, she reached for him and gave a cry of desperation as she longed for him to finish what he had started, but the eclipse would soon be over and he had estimated the time of darkness would last around six minutes – not long at all, apart from the fact that he was aching for relief, and six minutes would last in an agony of strict self control, six minutes was a long time to hold back from orgasm when he had thought of nothing else but coming hard and deep inside the body of the Priestess ever since he had arrived on this planet...

As he took her in his arms and their flesh touched, she gave a sigh and ran her fingertips lightly down his back, resisting the urge to dig in her nails and scratch.

"Doctor," she whispered, "Take me!"

And his fresh piercing throbbed as his nipple brushed against her flesh, and the tattoo leaked inky blood that smeared on her pale skin as he tightened his grip on her body as her legs wrapped around his waist.

He granted her wish, taking her sharply and roughly, penetrating her in a sharp, stabbing movement that made her cry out.

As he pinned her to the floor with the weight of his body he took his pleasure, his breathing heavy and hers coming in light gasps as their bodies moved together, as the candles flickered and threw shadows up the wall as the temple filled with echoes of their breath and their bodies joining together impatiently, they were fucking more than making love, an act of lust in the darkness as both held back from the moment of release.

_It didn't feel like six minutes._

It had been so good but was over with so quickly, that when the light began to break through above the temple roof and he saw her face bathed in sunlight as she lay there, her body jerking with every forceful thrust he made against her, in that moment the Doctor's mind could not be filled with thoughts of the woman back on earth who he loved so deeply. In that moment all he could see was Megdala, lost in an orgasm that made her body tense and the contractions of the walls that held him in there warm and wet tipped him over the edge, and as he cried out and buried himself deeply inside her for a final time and felt her filling up hotly with the orgasm that was washing over his body in a way that made him forget all else, he knew he could not forget this woman, and that this experience would stay with him forever...

* * *

><p>As he separated from her and rolled on to his back he was breathing heavily as sweat ran from his body and with it, ink and blood from his fresh tattoo.<p>

He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, then ran his fingers through his hair as he looked up again at the now sunlit hole in the temple roof, and he began to recover his breathing.

"That," he said, "Was something I will never forget."

And he turned his head and looked at Megdala as she lay beside him.

"Thank you."

She leaned closer and their lips touched.

As the Doctor drew back from that kiss he looked into her eyes, felt a stirring in his heart and knew at once this situation had become dangerous:

_He loved Clara._

_He was sure of it, and no matter how life changing this experience with the Priestess had been, there could be no changing plans now..._

"I could fall in love with you," he said, and then he got up and put on his robe.

His words had surprised her and as she sat up she looked up at him, her green eyes intently regarding him as he stood over her tying the belt on his robe to close it up.

"But I won't," he added, "You have helped me, I can't deny that – and I came here for help. So thank you, and I do wish there could be more, and I think you feel that too, but I love someone and she's on earth waiting for me, so I will _not_ fall in love with you."

And then the ghost of a smile played about his lips as his gaze lingered on her naked form, just for one last time.

"But I could," he added, "I could fall in love with you very easily. And that is why I can't let it happen."

The Priestess got up and put on her gown, and then she turned back to him with a look of confusion in her eyes.

"If you say this can never be, why tell me of your feelings to begin with?"

And the Doctor paused for thought, silently concluding it was just his plain bad luck that such a wonderful experience would have to end on such a dark note – because his mind was made up now, he had to be honest about all he knew, because at least he could share the truth with her, even if she chose not to believe him...

"_I chose to tell you because I know your time is running out,"_ he said, and his voice echoed softly like the whisper of a ghost about the ceremonial room of the temple.

She stared at him, seeing at once the man she had made love with had certainly changed in his manner – there was a look of darkness about his blue, wise eyes, and his words had sent a shudder through her body as she saw that look and known at once that he was making that statement with the deepest of sincerity.

"What do you mean?" she asked in a hushed voice.

"_Your time,"_ he replied, _"Your time in this existence – it's about to be wiped out. The people from the city have decided to test a bomb out in the desert not far from here. It will wipe out your people. Those who are still here at the time of detonation will die. It happens at noon tomorrow."_

The Doctor walked over to the back of the room, where many candles threw glowing light mixed with shadows up the old stone walls.

He looked back at the Priestess, who had followed him, but now stood a short distance away, she was still staring at him as she tried to make sense of all he had just said.

"Just as a flame can melt a candle, this bomb can burn through your settlement and all of life -" he snuffed out a flame, "Is gone."

She stepped closer, watching as a dying plume of smoke trailed from the blackened wick of the darkened candle.

"Doctor, you can not be sure of these things. You know nothing of the power of the solar god."

He shook his head.

"I am a time traveller, Megdala! I_ know_ what will come to pass! And as for your solar god, what would you say if I told you he doesn't exist?"

Her eyes widened as she looked at him with an expression of shock.

"That's right," he told her, "You just initiated a non believer. I totally and utterly do _not_ believe in your god. There are some alien life forms out there in the universe that are fire beings, sentient life forms – but your sun? It's just a planet up in the sky, Megdala!"

Clearly, she was offended. He could see it in her eyes, and as she spoke again she struggled to control her anger.

"Well I'm sure you enjoyed the ceremony, Doctor! Now you can go back to your lover and who knows, perhaps even tell her about the experience?"

"I would do no such thing!"

"So she's not the type to enjoy hearing about it," she replied, "Oh well, at least you enjoyed the sex. Perhaps that was all it was ever about for you. Maybe there never was a problem you wished to resolve in the first place!"

Now it was the Doctor's turn to feel hurt.

"I was honest with you! I cried in your arms, do you think I faked that?"

"Of course not," she replied, "But I find it hard to understand the motivation of a man who blasphemes in the temple - after such an intimate ceremony!"

The Doctor glared at her.

"Are you really that stupid? I'm trying to save your life! There's an atom bomb that's going up in the desert tomorrow and it will wipe out your people! You don't believe me? Come with me, let me show you my ship – it's a time machine, I can prove all I'm saying is true – come with me to the Tardis!"

He reached for her hand, but she drew back and shook her head.

"I am the High Priestess of the Temple! I have no need for your technology, Doctor! And I am required here, where I belong. This is my temple, I host the house of the solar god and he shall protect me from any coming threat!"

The Doctor stared at her in disbelief.

"I wasn't aware I was having sex with such an ignorant person! I thought you had a degree of intelligence, I felt that when we were joined together, it gave me hope! Perhaps I was wrong! Megdala, your sun god can not protect you from an atomic bomb! The only way you can save yourself and the rest of the settlement is to gather everyone together and tell them to get out _now_ and go far from this place and never return!"

She fell silent for a moment, thinking on all he had said.

"The people would listen to me," she agreed, "But to ask them to turn away is like saying the solar god cannot protect them!"

"Did he stop them from being driven out when the humans arrived on your planet?" he asked.

Confusion clouded her eyes.

"We are a travelling race, Doctor. If those who misunderstand us choose to drive us out it is a reflection of their ignorance not our lack of strength -"

_"I said,"_ he yelled as his temper finally snapped, _"Did your sun god help you when the humans drove you out?"_

She shook her head.

"_Why_ do you think that is?" he demanded.

She blinked away tears.

"My belief is absolute. But I shall talk to them, I shall talk to the tribe leaders and advise to move out to the mountains until the danger has passed -"

"No!" he exclaimed, "Not good enough, Megdala – your people have to go past the mountains and keep going, until you reach the edge of the dry lands. And you must _never_ return to this place."

Her face paled as she looked at him in alarm.

"But they will not agree to that! This is now the land of my people, they will not give up the only settlement they have been allowed to own!"

"But it's going to be full of radiation by this time tomorrow! And that will last for many, many years, for many generations – Megdala, you _have_ to tell them to leave!"

And she looked at him, and in that moment he knew as a sinking feeling of utter despair filled his twin hearts, that he would always remember her like this, standing there in the temple in that sheer gown looking beautiful but defiant:

"I can not do that, Doctor," she said to him, "They, like me, have absolute faith in our god. The darkening stole away our protector, but we ensured his return to us by the gift of joined mortal energy and now, he is returned to protect us."

The Doctor's eyes widened as he stared at her.

"You have a set of simplistic beliefs that even a _child_ would question!" he exclaimed, "It was an _eclipse_, Megdala! A solar eclipse, it happens when your Moon passes between your Sun and this planet and the Moon blocks the Sun! It's an alignment seen from your planet that doesn't happen very often, but there is _nothing_ magical or holy about it!"

The closeness they had experienced while the planet had grown dark was long gone as she glared at him.

_"Get out!"_ she said sharply.

The Doctor turned to the door and opened it, but then he looked back at her.

"Please listen to me. I'm not being disrespectful to your faith, I'm not insulting the beliefs of your people, I am just trying to help you before its too late!"

"Get out, Doctor!" she repeated coldly.

"Okay," he said as frustration blazed in his eyes, "I'll do that. I'll get in my Tardis and fuck off and you can forget all about me and my warnings. But tomorrow, they _will_ detonate that bomb._ And you and your people will die!_ At least I tried to help, it's _not_ my fault that you won't listen!"

Then he walked away, through the temple and back down the corridor, heading for his room, so he could get changed and and go back to the Tardis, and leave this planet forever.

* * *

><p>As he walked he didn't look back and he tried not to think too much about how his hearts ached for the Priestess and her people, but the pain was there, and it was deep enough to blur his eyes with tears as he wondered why he had come here to simply use their eclipse to resolve his problems, and come away feeling saddened for the plight of those who were about to become another page in history.<p>

He had got too involved, too close, he decided, but he knew there was nothing he could do about that – because he _always_ got involved in the end, because he was the Doctor...

_And he still wanted to help._

_He knew he had to, because his conscience would not let him do anything less..._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The Doctor had returned to the Tardis, showered, changed his clothes and then spent a short while reflecting on all that had happened as he stood alone in the console room, feeling only too aware that he was the only person who could offer a life line to Megdala and her people. And that life line would _not_ be taken up, he knew it, he felt it even after he left the Tardis and walked back along the dusty pathway back towards the settlement:

_One last try._

_He had to do this, if only for the sake of his own conscience..._

The Doctor passed through the now quiet settlement, dusk was falling fast and as he headed up the path that led to the temple, he resisted the urge to look back as the thought struck him that this would be the last night these people would ever see, and tomorrow would be the final sunrise...

_It would be Megdala's final sunrise._

_He wasn't quite sure why that knowledge made his hearts ache painfully._

_This was history already played out, somewhere in the future, the bomb had already been detonated._

_Why could he not leave it as that?_

_Because he had become too involved?_

_Of course he had, he knew his own mistake was the same, predictable error he made time and again: _

_He got involved because he cared. _

_There was no point trying not to, it would happen anyway, it always did..._

The Doctor turned his thoughts to the heated exchange of words he had shared with the Priestess:

_Perhaps he had been wrong to tell her the truth about her faith in a fictional sun god who she believed would save her from destruction – but what else could he say, he had given her the truth, he had begged her, then he had shouted at her, and still she would not see the truth..._

* * *

><p>He had reached the door of the temple.<p>

Now the Doctor looked back, down the hill at the settlement, peaceful and shrouded by the gathering shadows of evening, and then he turned back and he knocked, and hoped the door would be answered.

This time there was no long wait for a reply.

The door opened and he found he was face to face with Megdala.

As he took in the sight of her he recalled all that had happened in the temple and his sore chest throbbed at the memory of the hot blade dipped in ink. His piercing was too painful to touch but at that moment nerves tingled even though flesh was still raw.

And then he saw the cold look in her green eyes, and all thoughts of pleasure left him abruptly.

"Why have you come back?" she demanded.

"Because I wanted to apologise for my behaviour," the Doctor replied, and as she continued to look at him coldly he wondered if he was about to be shouted at, and then as he glanced down at his own black polka dot shirt he recalled the last time he had worn it, was right after he had left the fate of the moon in Clara's hands, and she had later quarrelled with him over it and threatened to slap him so hard he would regenerate...

_Perhaps the shirt was bad luck – or maybe not, as he did not consider himself a superstitious man..._

But as he looked back at Megdala, the anger in her eyes simmered down.

"I can accept your apology," she replied, "I realise you are very fearful of the towns people and their atom bomb testing. But I have faith. Perhaps if you also had faith in a religion that is as ancient as the stars, you would lose your fear."

He resisted the urge to tell her again that her sun god was an invention of superstition, knowing that to say more of the same would only lead to another quarrel, and that was the very last thing he needed when lives were at stake – the Priestess was one of the most powerful figures in the local community, someone the others would listen to, if only he could persuade her to believe him...

"Look," he said, "I'm only trying to help you and keep you and your people safe. I don't doubt you believe your sun god can offer protection – perhaps he can, I'm just a traveller, I know little of the roots of your faith – but I do know the physical effects of the atom bomb will be devastating. This is not an act of god, this is an act of man and perhaps your god can't stop that. Even I can't stop that -"

"What an arrogant man you are!" she exclaimed, "You would compare yourself to our solar god -"

"No!" he said, "That is _not_ what I meant! Please, just listen to me and believe me when I say that bomb will kill you all! I just want to help you, I want to change this outcome because I can't walk away knowing I'm leaving you to die!"

She gave a sigh, and then she looked at him with understanding in her eyes.

"I accept that you came here to resolve your difficulties, and I know you are afraid for the safety of me and my people, but there is no reason to fear, Doctor. No reason at all. _We are safe_."

She had spoken with such belief, such calm assurance in her voice, and as he looked at her he thought of the moment of detonation that would come to pass in the morning, and his hearts ached for this woman and all the other innocent lives that would be snuffed out when the mushroom cloud rose up in the sky.

"There is nothing more I can do,"he said sadly, "I see you are firm in your beliefs, and there is nothing I can do or say to try and change your mind about remaining here tomorrow. But I tried, and I really wanted to save you."

"Leave the protection of my people to the sun god," she told him, "Go home to the woman you love and embrace her, Doctor. And remember how you broke your curse and managed to hold her in your arms."

"I'll always remember who helped me to do that," he said softly, and then he turned away and walked back down the hill.

His twin hearts were heavy, but with a sense of defeat instead of guilt.

He had done all he could to save Megdala, but it was clear he could not persuade her to listen, and he knew this last night would bring a morning that carried with it the end of everything for the Priestess and her people...

* * *

><p>The Doctor returned to the Tardis once more, and then he took the blue police box high above the skies of the planet, where it hovered with the door open but the shields were up, ensuring his safety.<p>

He spent the next few hours alone in the Tardis, he watched as the night gave way to the last dawn Megdala's people would ever see, and then as noon approached, a growing sense of dread filled his hearts as he stood at the open Tardis doorway and turned his gaze downward, and the mushroom cloud and a flash of fire burst upwards, reflecting in his eyes as he mourned the loss of the Priestess and her people.

_He had tried to save them._

_Trying to do good didn't always make for a good result any more than it made him a good man._

_Sometimes there simply was no happy ending..._

The Doctor had closed the door of the Tardis, shutting out the sight of the bomb blast far below.

Then he had stood at the console, reached for a lever that would activate the controls and take him back to Clara – and then he paused, a thought coming to mind that would not go away:

_Was Megdala dead, or had she survived the blast?_

Either way, she stood no real chance of survival, but if she was still breathing, if she was lying injured in the ruins of the temple and realising that her god had been powerless, would she be calling for him now?

Would she be dying with the name _Doctor_ on her lips, and would that death be alone?

Then he thought of Clara. He had never wanted to run to her more than he did now, but he could not go back yet.

_He knew what he had to do._

The Doctor changed course, and landed the Tardis back on the surface of the planet, out in the desert, up the rocky pathway beside the solar temple...

* * *

><p>As he opened the Tardis door and stepped out, the air felt dry and scorched. He didn't doubt the radiation levels here would be lethal to most life forms, but it was not high enough to pose a threat to a Time Lord.<p>

He stood at the top of the hill where once lush green shrubbery was now scorched away, saw the ravaged settlement below and the bodies on the ground, some burned, some killed instantly by the force of the blast that had shook loose heavy bricks and buried them beneath rubble.

The temple was still standing, but part of the wall had caved in and the roof was gone. The Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver and briefly tested the atmosphere – the radiation levels were high - still not high enough to harm him, but even so, he was _not_ planning to stay around...

The door to the temple was broken, hanging on a single hinge, and he pushed it open and stepped inside.

Dust and smoke and the smell of burning lingered in the air, and as he passed through a slowly fading haze he concluded he was literally walking through death – the smoke contained the stench of burnt flesh and no doubt air from the lungs of the dying and those already dead who had let out a final scream as the bomb had done its work.

The corridor was filled with heat and dust, even though he saw no flames, the paint on the once elegant walls was peeling and cracked, the light fixtures were shattered and hanging by damaged wiring.

He walked through the open doorway that led into the main temple area, here the walls were cracked and daylight filtered in due to a partly collapsed wall.

As he walked towards the closed door at the back of the room, he felt a rising sense of dread as he wondered:

_Would she have gone back to the ceremonial room when she knew the bomb was about to hit?_

_If she had, was it because she wanted to be close to the solar god she held such faith in, or because she wanted to cling to the memory of their encounter?_

And then he opened the door and as it swung back and he stood there looking in, he did not need to wonder any longer...

* * *

><p>Megdala was on the floor, beneath the high roof where the light had filtered in, she was curled in a scorched blanket – the same one they had made love on the day before...<p>

As he walked over to her, he saw her lips part, then she drew a breath.

She was dying, of course.

Her skin was blistered and her bloody knuckles were taut as she fought against agony as she clutched the blanket about a body that had been subjected to such heat that the once transparent fabric of her gown was in tatters, and what remained of it was welded to her flesh.

Most of her long dark hair had been burned away, and her face was red and sore and burns gleamed on her cheek as she lay there on the floor on her side, clutching at that blanket with the last of her strength.

He stood over her, she breathed, coughed and then her eyes opened.

As she looked up at him he continued to look down at her as he felt sure that every time he saw death happen in such a senseless way, he would never get used to it – two thousand years of life would not change the fact that death was always ugly, painful, and always wrenched at his hearts...

"Most of your people are dead," he said quietly, "There may be some survivors – but that is for the emergency services to handle."

She breathed in slowly, weakly, and her cracked lips parted.

"Why did you come back?" she whispered.

"For you," the Doctor replied, and then he leaned over her and lifted her into his arms and carried her from the ceremonial room, and out through the ruins of the temple, heading back to the Tardis and a final journey that had to be made in order for Megdala to die in peace...

* * *

><p>As the Tardis gently rose higher and closer towards the sun, the shields were up but the door was open, and the Doctor was on the floor on his knees as he held the dying Priestess in his arms.<p>

"Open your eyes," the Doctor said softly, "Please open your eyes, Megdala. I need to tell you something."

She heard his voice and slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him. Meeting her gaze was difficult, because the Doctor knew he was about to lie to a dying woman, but if a lie was the only comfort he could offer, he would give it now when all other choices were gone...

"I lied," he said to her, "I lied when I said your solar god did not exist. _I know he exists, I have seen him, I have seen all the wonders of the universe, and I know he is real! I was just trying to save you when I said he was a myth!_"

And she believed him, he saw it in her eyes, a spark of hope even now, when her life was about to blink out like a snuffed candle, leaving nothing behind but a trail of smoke, a wisp of a memory and nothing more...

Even now, at the end, she had hope – because he had just handed it to her.

"You...have _seen_ him?" she whispered.

"Yes," the Doctor replied, "And he is as bright and powerful and amazing as you know him to be! And he is your truth and if you look, _just look_, Megdala, you will_ see_ him...he is waiting for you! _Do you see him?_"

Her gaze shifted out through the open Tardis doors, towards the inky black of space and the burning fire of a brilliant sun.

"_Yes,"_ she whispered, _"I see him, I see the solar god..."_

And as she looked upon the light she started to smile, then she died in his arms, falling limp and lifeless, her eyes still open as they reflected the glare of the burning sun.

The Doctor held her in his arms as the Tardis continued to hover in line with the sun, and as he held her he made his plans:

_He would return to the planet to bury Megdala, and then he would go home at last, home to Clara..._

* * *

><p>When the Tardis materialised around the corner from Coal Hill School, the timing was perfect. Clara had just finished work and had walked out of the gates and turned the corner.<p>

She was walking alone – thankfully no Mr Pink at her side, the Doctor had noticed that, and it made him smile.

Then she looked up and she saw him standing there and she smiled too, and quickened her pace, and as they met beside the Tardis he saw love shining in her eyes. She had not forgotten their conversation over the phone – and clearly, she was keen to continue the discussion...

"I'm so glad you're back!" she exclaimed, "I've thought of nothing but all we said to each other on the phone and...I couldn't sleep last night!"

"Because you feel guilty?" he asked cautiously.

She shook her head.

"I've got nothing to feel guilty about."

"What about your boyfriend?"

Clara smiled.

"I don't have one any more, I made my choice yesterday. I told Danny and he wasn't happy about it but it didn't come as a shock. So now there's a vacancy in my life.._.boyfriend needed. _I thought you might like to know that."

As he looked at her he wanted to sweep her into his arms and kiss her and never stop.

But he also wanted to simply hold her, just hold her close, tightly, and weep tears of joy for all he had found, and he knew those tears would also be mixed with sorrow for what had been lost.

He held out his hand and when she took hold of it, he silently enjoyed a rush of love that threatened again to make his tears flow, and he held that back, because she had no clue what he had done or witnessed:

_She didn't know a woman he could have loved, if not for her, had died in his arms hours before, nor could he tell her that he had also taken part in a sex ritual with her – but he had to share something of the tale, before they talked of the future..._

"Come with me," he said to her softly, "I need to take you somewhere."

As she saw the look in his eyes, she wondered why he seemed so serious, when she had just told him she was free to be his for the rest of her days.

"Where are we going?" she asked him.

"Somewhere special," he replied, "Somewhere you have to see, because I have to tell you a story of a lost tribe of sand gypsies before we discuss anything else."

Surprise registered in her eyes.

"Sand gypsies?" she repeated, "Okay, if it means that much to you, let's do this."

And he led her into the Tardis and closed the door, and then the Tardis faded out and left earth, on a return journey to a far away planet, where the Doctor had much explaining to do...


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The journey to the alien planet was a strange one for Clara.

She was aware that they had just reached a new, deeper level of understanding, and yet he was strangely silent and seemed preoccupied as they journeyed towards their destination.

On arriving, the Doctor turned to a screen that showed a view of a desert settlement, destroyed by a nuclear blast.

"Isn't it dangerous to go out there?" she asked him.

"No," the Doctor replied, "I returned us here seven hundred years _after_ the atom bomb testing – its safe for both of us to take a look around – but don't touch anything, and no bringing back any souvenirs."

She looked a little shocked by that remark.

"Souvenirs? Why would I want to do that? It's grave robbing! You said, people died here!"

As the Doctor looked back at her, his hearts felt heavy and he swore he could still feel the weight of Megdala's body in his arms as he had held her in her dying moments and lied to her about the solar god.

Memories of her touch were still fresh in his mind, the tattoo was not yet healed and his piercing ached sharply beneath the fabric of his shirt.

To him, this had been yesterday – it was only thanks to time travel that they had returned seven centuries later...

"Sorry," he replied, "But after the bomb testing killed the sand gypsies, this place was preserved as a memorial to the dead. The lives lost served as a lesson –it was then they realised the true cost of nuclear warfare. A lot of people come up here to visit the memorial, some take small mementos away... I didn't think you would do that but I just wanted to mention it."

"Why did you bring me here?" she asked him.

The Doctor led her over to the Tardis door and opened it.

"Walk with me to the temple, I'll explain on the way."

* * *

><p>Clara followed him from the Tardis, and they walked together through the old settlement, then up a path that led to the remains of the solar temple.<p>

And while they walked, he told her about the sand gypsies, how the settlers had driven them out to a fixed settlement, and how their ignorance had killed the nomadic tribe.

When they reached the open doorway of the temple, he paused, and sorrow reflected in his eyes as he spoke again.

"I once visited this place, many years ago before the bomb. I knew the High Priestess of the temple, her name was Megdala."

And as they entered the remains of the temple, the Doctor saw some clear changes had happened in the last seven centuries:

Now the main temple room had been turned into a museum dedicated to the faith of the solar god. Pictures on the wall showed images of the Priestess and her followers, and the Doctor could not bear to do more than glance and then look away. Glass cabinets were filled with artifacts from the temple that had survived the blast, including the now long-rusted blade that had been used to create his tattoo – that tattoo was still healing, still fresh...

Clara lingered by a cabinet, looking inside at the piercing equipment.

He hoped that she would like his new nipple ring and that thought lifted his sorrow briefly.

"This way," the Doctor said to her, and he led her through to the ceremonial room at the back of the temple.

Walking into this room, where the sun shone down through the circular hole in the roof high above, brought another flood of memories back, memories that to the Doctor, were so fresh the pain was unbearable.

"Why did you want to show me this place?" Clara asked him.

The Doctor stepped closer to her, and it occurred to him that they were standing together beneath the hole in the temple roof just as he had stood with Megdala on the day of the ceremony.

"Because I wanted to show you that this was once a beautiful place, and it was destroyed needlessly. So much life was lost when it didn't have to be. Life matters very much to me, Clara. And I intend to make the most of every moment of mine."

As she looked at him, she guessed that the Doctor had once had a strong connection to this place, and as she asked him a question she spoke softly, hoping not to disturb too many sad recollections from the past of a man whose past was so very, very long.

"This Priestess – Megdala – what happened to her? Was she here when the bomb went off?"

The Doctor looked at her, tears filled his eyes and he nodded.

"She died," he said, and then he put his hands to his face and sobbed as Clara stood there feeling helpless, because she knew he did not enjoy being embraced, and that offer of comfort would only make matters worse...

"Sorry," he said as he quickly regained composure and wiped his eyes, "It's a very emotional memory. _To me, it happened yesterday_."

Then he took a deep breath and shook off his sadness quickly, determined not to make a mess of this new start with Clara.

"I just wanted to show you around here," he said to her, "And now I think we should leave. You and I have plans to make."

She saw a sparkle in his eyes and it made her smile.

"Yes we do," she agreed.

"But I need to do something first," he added, deciding here was the most appropriate place to surprise her, "Come closer."

"_Closer?"_

He smiled.

"Closer, yes, you heard me right."

And he held his arms out to her.

The look of surprise he saw on her face warmed his heart as she stepped closer, looked up at him hesitantly, and then she carefully put her arms around him.

The Doctor embraced her tightly, kissed her and then continued to hold her.

"I'm over it," he said as he hugged her, "I can hold you in my arms, I can stay like this all day if I want to! I conquered my fears, I did it for us."

As he pulled back slightly he saw a look of astonishment in her eyes.

"But how did you -"

"I just needed to take some time out to work things out," he told her, and then he spoke excitedly as he reached up and began to unbutton his shirt.

"I did something for you.._.I got inked and pierced!_"

She gave a gasp, and then she giggled.

"You didn't! No, no way, you wouldn't..."

The Doctor pulled open the upper half of his shirt, and she saw the tattoo and a silver nipple ring and her eyes grew wide in surprise.

"Oh wow, you _did!_ You really did! Doctor, I can't believe you did something so daring!"

He smiled.

"I'm glad you like it!"

He saw a flash of something sexy and promising in her eyes as she looked up at him.

"You bet I do!"

Then as memories began to crowd him, he cast a last glance around the ruins of the temple and he took hold of her hand once more.

"Let's go back to the Tardis," he said, "I've had enough of this place."

And the two of them left the temple together, pausing on the way out as Clara read about the powdered silver bellflower that was used as a sexual stimulant by the ancient tribe during rituals.

By the time she had finished reading the final paragraph, she noticed the Doctor was laughing all of a sudden. But before she could ask him why, he led her out of the doorway and back down the hill, heading back towards the Tardis.

* * *

><p>After they passed through the old settlement and reached the path where the police box was now in plain sight, the Doctor slipped his arm around Clara's waist as they walked, enjoying his new ability to be close to her.<p>

And as he glanced up to a sun lit sky, he thought of Megdala and smiled:

Every time he had asked her how long the drug would keep working, she had given him no reply, and now he knew why, because he had just read the answer on the wall of the ruins:

That powdered plant extract he had blamed for his ability to lose his inhibitions and welcome closeness, was very weak indeed.

_Very, very_ weak.

_The effects of the drug only lasted for twenty minutes._

He had over come his fears all by himself, that was why she had not given him an answer every time he had asked that question, and Megdala had seen it, had known he had cured his own problem simply by finding his confidence again...

And as he led her back into the Tardis and then threw a switch that took the police box back into time and space and far from this planet, even as he drew Clara into his arms and kissed her with the deepest passion, he spared a thought for the woman who had lived and died for her faith, and the Doctor whispered a silent _Thank you_ that he hoped would echo through the time vortex and somehow reach her, somewhere back in the past, in a world where people still believed in solar gods, where there was a High Priestess named Megdala, and the Temple was yet to crumble into ruins.

The End


End file.
